Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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