Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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