I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
