i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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