I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
