yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
