fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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