The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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