I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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