Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
