One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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