I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
false alarm, still single
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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