He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
