she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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