He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
