I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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