Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
