Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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