so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
