If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
