She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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