If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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