How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
