So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Damn victory sex feels great
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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