Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
