ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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