Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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