Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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