The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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