So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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