She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
