Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
