I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
