whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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