Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
