mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
