I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
