Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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