Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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