His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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