Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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