South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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