Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
