I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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