Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
