im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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