If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
