i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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