38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
