I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
