So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Randomize
