Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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