You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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