Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She announced her abortion via fbk
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
