I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
